Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
