I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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