Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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