Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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