we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Blood and glitter go together right?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
