i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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