I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
