tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
