i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize