tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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