i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
NoShamevember. You game?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
