nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
why do cheetos always look like penises
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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