So drunk its hurt
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
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Also, beer. Big fan.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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