YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
