I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
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I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
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The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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