she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
