Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
