I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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