So drunk its hurt
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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