im having a threesome with these popsicles
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin