We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
