nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
