He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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