im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize