note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
