After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
