i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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