i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
