Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
