im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
