Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
