don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
