the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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