im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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