Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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