You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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