By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
