Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
