At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
