Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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