why didn't you poke me back
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
