omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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