Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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