I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
