i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
