He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
