I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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