it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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