Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
