operation have a gay friend backfired
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
