guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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