Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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