He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
