There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
