she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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