Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no, he came in my armpit
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
