idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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