There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want nice things and good sex
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
