I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
