why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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