we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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