only if we run a train.
done.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
