he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
