Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize