I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
